What's a Peeve?

Pardon me while I launch into a diatribe.

In light of a very recent convo with a coworker, I thought I’d share one of my "passions" that just might lighten the mood around here a little bit. Unless you take things too seriously, in which case... *phooey-on-youey*

My name is Liz and I’m a Beatles junkie. ("Hi, Liz.")

I’m a die-hard Beatles purist and I shan’t be swayed. Consider the following:

1. It drives me nigh unto clinically insane when "other people" sing Beatles songs. I’m not talking about sitting around the campfire on the 4th of July and singing every song you know, just for the fun of it. I’m talking about people who do it for profit and recognition. To quote my darling husband, listening to these atrocities is like "watching people defectate on works of art." This is sacrilege in its basest form and should be punishable by public flogging. I can maybe tolerate hearing Paul McCartney sing an old Beatles tune at a Paul McCarntey concert. As long as it’s one of his very own tunes. And believe me, I know the difference.
ETA: A high-quality cover band is also acceptable, but only if they successfully recreate the sound and truly honor The Beatles by not "making it their own" or failing miserably at sounding like my Boys. This provides fans with an opportunity to hear a "live Beatles show" and does not promote some egotistical and sub-standard "artist’s" ulterior motives.

2. All those Beatles covers on TV ads? You will find me running around screaming while I look for the remote control to change the channel or hit the mute button. John is trained to do the same. "No! No! No! Run away! Butchered Beatles! AaaAAAAAaaAaaaa!" BLASPHEMY.

3. Beatles-themed movies with "tribute" soundtracks? ("I Am Sam" and "Across the Universe" being the latest atrocities to seep their way into pop culture.) How would you like it if I came to your house and cut up all the pictures in your family photo album and replaced the "heads" of your beloveds with photos of D-list celebrity nitwits? And then proceeded to give it to you as a Christmas present? Stop it. Just... stop it.

4. Tonight’s American Idol will feature the Lennon/McCartney songbook. "News at 11: Local doula bursts into flames."

5. That Cirque du Soleil "Love" show in Vegas? I have not seen this (yet. I’m "open"), but I understand and appreciate that it is Beatle-People approved. That being said, those songs should not be taken out of context. I heard one of the tracks on the "oldies" radio station (of all places) and almost crashed my car. And not in a good way. What’s next? Shall we throw the collected works of William Shakespeare into a shredder and perform an interpretive dance based on the randomly-reassembled lines? And proceed to charge people $400 a seat to witness it? Honestly.

6. I’m annoyed when people tell me they are Beatles fans too, then carry on about how they love "I Want to Hold Your Hand," "Yellow Submarine," and "When I’m 64," which -- in comparison to the superabundance of creative genius to be found on B-Sides and album tracks (they made more than 12 songs, you know) -- are no more than pre-chewed bubblegum pap. Don’t get me wrong, those are great tunes, but I hate to break it to ya... if you think those songs are representative of The Beatles’ catalogue, you’ve clearly never heard gems like "Rain," "Tomorrow Never Knows," "It’s All Too Much," "Hey Bulldog," "Everybody’s Got Something to Hide..." "Oh! Darling" or "I’ve Got a Feeling," and you may not call yourself a Beatles fan.

BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT’S WHY.

7. When people learn that I’m a die-hard Beatles junkie, some of these people (maybe you) feel overwhelmingly compelled to tell me how much you despise The Beatles, and how The Beatles are overrated pieces of crap, and what a monumental idiot I am to enjoy such overrated pieces of crap. I never said you have to like The Beatles. You’re entitled to your opinion. You’re free to like or dislike anything you want. SO AM I. The Beatles are like my family. Is it really necessary to spew your hate on me and the people I love like that? CLEARLY, your enlightened opinion makes you Superior to me in every way. CLEARLY, my admiration of The Most Popular and Influential Musical Act in the History of the World threatens your "individuality" and self-worth SO grievously that you must demean, belittle and insult people, with no discernable provocation, merely to demonstrate the undeniable fact that you are, indeed, Superior. Get the *&!$ over yourself. I get it. Beatles Drool, You Rule. Where dost thou wanteth me to line up for my Atmoic Wedgie? *insert flipping-you-off smiley here*

8. If you are one of those people back in Junior High who used to call me a "druggie" and/or an "Atheist" just because I listened to The Beatles.... YOU SUCK.


I feel much better now. The End.