Highs and Lows

My sister's family has a dinner-time tradition called "Highs and Lows." Everyone at the table takes turns telling the group about the best (high) and worst (low) part of their day. I really love this tradition, as it fosters communication and allows an outlet for gratitude, excitement, support, sympathy, shared feelings and encouragement. It brings everyone together and keeps the family in the loop (particularly helpful with said sister's growing teens).

Well, my blog has been quiet lately. Quieter than I like. I've been having a few Highs and Lows of my own in the past couple of weeks that I'd like to chat about for a bit. To bring you in the loop and share my joys and frustrations with the goings-on of my life.

Highs:

• Bean is getting SO big! I feel him moving more and more every day. Although this is a perfectly normal and mundane part of pregnancy in general, it's new to me and I still get a thrill every time I feel it. In fact, I won't be surprised if I actually miss feeling this little person wiggling around inside my belly after he's born. Last night, he was making such big movements, that I just sat and stared at my tummy for a good 20 minutes, watching it take mysterious shapes as my little dude squirmed under the surface. Fascinating!!!
• I'm finally starting to look pregnant! My friend Meghan sent me some maternity clothes, and yesterday I donned one of her hot, red numbers that accentuated my roundness oh so nicely, and had me posing in front of the mirror, admiring my new figure, on more than one occasion. :) And I never wear red (in fact, other than this one top, I don't own anything red). No wonder Megz chose to wear this blouse in her most memorable (to me) belly shot. It is smokin.'
• My parents are officially "home" in Utah, after 9 years living in Nebraska. No more 12-hour commutes to see the family, and they get to be local for Bean's birth! It was great to talk to my dad on Father's Day, and I'm looking forward to seeing him and my mom again this weekend at our family 4th of July party.
• After more than 6 long weeks (felt more like 6 months), John was finally offered a job! What a great relief; we really need to save our pennies for parenthood and we've been counting on a second income to help us stay afloat as we prepare our home and our lives for this new journey. Not to mention... paying the midwife will be a nice thing! John seems to enjoy his new job so far, and he's been in great spirits in spite of coming home with sunburns and heat exhaustion from working outside. My sweet workin' man. *sigh*
• My nasty head/chest congestion ("Phlegmstock 2009") is clearing up quite nicely. Still have mini coughing fits once or twice a day, but nothing significant enough to interfere with my life. Kleenex usage is back to normal human levels, very very few itchies and sneezies crossing my path, and my throat is blissfully free from redness and pain. Feels great to be breathing clearly again!
• I attended my very first VBAC last week, and it went great! I was able to employ some very handy doula tricks to nudge this mother's labor in the right direction (she'd been prodromal for nearly 3 days and was at her wits' end, so we got that baby repositioned and the contractions took off! Baby was earthside in less than 5 hours.) Mama got the natural labor and med-free birth she wanted, baby is strong and gorgeous, and I felt like I did what I was hired to do, which is always a good feeling.

Lows:

• Last Friday, I was given 2 weeks' notice. I'll be losing my job at the end of next week. I've actually been looking for a new job for about a month now, as I had a feeling this current one was in peril, and I've been feeling under-utilized and unchallenged/unfulfilled there. So, while the opportunity and impetus to get a new job is great, and there's no love lost in leaving my current job, I'm devastated by the financial situation this puts us in right now, and I've no idea who will hire me when I'm 6 months pregnant AND planning to take 6-8 weeks of maternity leave in the fall. I'm still sending out job applications like mad, and holding out for a "resume-worthy" job for the next week and a half until I get desperate and just go get a throw-away job at a call center or Walmart or something. It's better than nothing, although not desirable. I have few options at this point. I'm very discouraged. :(
• I don't like to complain about pregnancy, because I'm SO VERY GRATEFUL to be pregnant, but it's taking a toll on me. I feel like I've lost my "glow." I know it's only natural to be tired and sore, and to get winded, and to have a full bladder ALL THE TIME, and to struggle with sleep and concentration and energy and emotions and appetite, but... this is new territory for me. I knew it was going to happen, I just thought I would handle it better. I want to have a good attitude about it (I really, really do), but I'm not exactly a spring chicken, nor am I in the best of shape (this would have been easier 10 years ago and/or 50 pounds ago). That birth I attended last week wiped me out BIG TIME. So, needless to say... being pregnant is kicking my butt. And the serious part is only just beginning. (It's going to be a LONG summer. please don't remind me. I'm well aware of the uphill battle, thanks.)
• I don't know how to put this delicately, but this was a huge downer for me: Someone close to us was "persuaded" to ungift a significant baby gift that we were supremely grateful for and had our hearts set on. Not that we expect or demand people to give us things that we should be responsible for providing ourselves (because we don't! and we're doing everything in our power to provide as much as possible), but... it's the principle of the thing. Compounded by the timing of losing my job and the majority of our income... well, anything that bums me out like this is a "Low" in my book, so I'm putting it here.
• My nesting urges are starting to kick in. When I do get bursts of energy, nothing is quite so satisfying to me as digging in and tackling the otherwise daunting task of getting the apartment ready for the baby (and other soon-to-arrive houseguests). And wouldn't you know it... our vacuum cleaner broke this weekend. HOW CAN I CLEAN MY NEST WITH A BROKEN VACUUM? (and no money to fix or replace it?) (bring on the waterworks.)

Thanks fer listenin'