ARGH.

Disclaimer: This is a rant about being sick, and you don't have to read it because it's really just a big giant complain-train.

I have been suffering from hayfever (aka "seasonal allergies") for years now. Most of my life, in fact. It's become so bad that I usually depend on a daily dose of Zyrtec, year-round, just to live a normal life. (And I typically have to supplement with more hardcore stuff during the season changes; nasal spray, eyedrops, night-time Benadryl.)

Well, I quit the Zyrtec cold-turkey when I found out I was pregnant.

And it's all gone downhill from there. :(

I'm in a major tailspin this spring. In the past week alone, I've slowly become convinced that I'm actually dying from a horrible disease because I've been SO sick. I really hate sounding like a wimp, but... THIS IS KILLING ME. It started with the sneezing. Accompanied by the itchy throat, itchy ears, itchy eyeballs, itchy skin. Oh, the itching. Then more sneezing and a runny nose. (Nose like a faucet, y'all. If you've never been allergic to springtime and don't know what I'm getting at, there's just no other way to explain it. A faucet.) It's terribly uncomfortable. You don't even want to know how many tissues I've gone through.

The weather has been delightful lately and we've taken to opening up the windows in our apartment. Last Thursday, we slept with the windows open. This was a big mistake. I woke up Friday morning with a mouth like sandpaper and a fire-engine-red throat that was swollen nearly shut. Nasal passages enflamed. I could barely swallow and it hurt to talk. I was afraid I might have strep, but I had no other symptoms, so I knew it couldn't be. I blew through an entire box of tissues. John asked if he should take me to the doctor. "No, it's just allergies. It will clear up." So I stuck it out and suffered.

By Saturday, my sinuses were so congested that my teeth felt like they were falling out and my face felt bruised. I was convinced that I had the beginnings of a serious sinus infection.
I spent most of the weekend in bed, hopped up on the only medications I had lying around that I KNOW are safe during pregnancy (Tylenol, Sudafed, Benadryl), but still not putting them in heavy rotation out of concern for my Bean. I drowned myself in chicken noodle soup, juice, Emergen-C drinks, and about a dozen honey-lemon & cayenne toddies. Still no majorly noticeable relief, but I suspected I was keeping whatever-this-was at bay. (Only a mild fever so far, and no actual signs of infection.) John again suggested going to the doctor, but I again refused, saying that it was "just allergies" and I had it under control.

Sunday night, I couldn't even lie in my bed without choking, sputtering, coughing and gagging. My throat was closing shut and I was starting to panic. Again, I refused to see a doctor, because "it's just allergies." I "slept" in the recliner, and after about 5 fitful hours of this "sleep," I dragged myself into a hot shower, forced myself to eat actual food (which has been difficult) to keep my strength up and feed the Bean, and then somehow managed to make my chiropractor's appointment on Monday morning. (Chiro gave me a rather painful sinus treatment in addition to my regularly-scheduled adjustment. He remarked that I was the 3rd person that morning reporting major allergy symptoms.) By now I was developing a raspy cough, much more physically-jarring in nature than my earlier shallow, itchy coughing spells. I kept up with the vitamin C infusions and herbal throat drops, and went through what looked to be about 100 more tissues. (My nostrils are chapped and raw, thank you.) John called several times to check up on me and see if I wanted to call the doctor yet. "No, it's just allergies." [I wanted it to be "just allergies" because allergies don't escalate into nasty illnesses and require complicated pharmaceuticals and medical treatments with their accompanying pregnancy-threatening side effects. "Just allergies" will go away after a few days or a heavy rainfall or the right combination of healthy foods.] I was already feeling better, see? I was actually able to keep a dentist appointment in the afternoon, as I was (luckily) breathing through my nose by then. Hooray! But by the time I got back to the office, I became an unwitting participant in a coughing match with a nearby co-worker. ("Oh great, it's catching," I thought.) On the way home from work, the storm clouds were brewing overhead and the wind had picked up gobs and gobs of cottonwood fluff and lawn clippings and every other variety of pollen, dust, dander, and creepy-crawly imaginable, and I could literally feel each little irritant squirming over my skin and sticking to the insides of my lungs. I ran inside the house to wash off my eye make-up as soon as I could because I was ready to scratch my eyes right out. I ate so much garlic and lemon with my dinner that I'm sure the neighbors can still smell me. I played with my new Neti-Pot and went through MORE tissue and gobbled up MORE vitamin C. But I was NOT getting any better.

Last night I woke John several times with my coughing fits. Coughing fits so violent that I frequently dry-heaved and couldn't catch my breath in between. My throat was once again on fire, my chest was throbbing, my head felt like it was going to pop off, and OH YEAH, my face was still a full-time snot-factory. (Can't forget.) This morning, the coughing was intense, deep and painful. I was so weak and sore that I could barely stand. Surely this is pneumonia in the making, now? At least? Visions began forming in my mind of being strapped to a hospital bed, IV's in my arms and an oxygen mask on my face, John by my side, and everything we own in a U-Haul because I've been out of work with the swine flu and my baby and I are both going to die unless we get this $$$-six-figure treatment that, OH, isn't covered by Medicaid....

*sigh* So I went to the doctor.

(*grumble grumble*)

And guess what, kids?

IT'S JUST ALLERGIES.

Am I the biggest wimp, or what?! I'm in agony, and there's really nothing more I can do for myself than what I've already been doing. (Just more over-the-counter weak stuff until it blows over.) Joy.

I'm so unhappy. :(