8 Months!

Um, you guys? NEXT MONTH I will have my baby in my arms. How many times have I said, "Who am I? How did I get here?" Well, I'm saying it again. A year ago I honestly never thought I would ever be where I am right now. It's been a VERY LONG road, but it also just sneaked right up on me. It's so surreal, I don't even know what else to say right now.

Wait. Yeah I do.

The past month has been a pretty emotional one for John and me as we've come this much closer to the reality of becoming parents. As I feel Bean growing bigger and stronger inside of me, it becomes easier to actually envision him as a person (less "embryonic" as he has been up til now), and as we talk to him and touch him (the patented "rub-rub-rub, pat-pat-pat" on the belly that lets him know his Mama is here), and call him by his real name, we fall more and more in love with our baby, and more and more in love with each other. It's not just Bean who's growing right now. It's all of us. What an amazing situation to be in.

We've been absolutely spoiled rotten lately, too. Just showered with gifts and attention and love, which is making this transition so much easier on us and for which we are tremendously grateful. Our families are the greatest people on earth and I can't thank them enough for all they do for us.

Over all, I can say that even at 36 weeks, I feel terrific. Yes, I have the SPD which basically cripples me on a daily basis, but it's just something I live with right now. I know it's only temporary and no matter how painful and debilitating it can be at times, it's all worth it. There are worse things, and I really do feel fortunate that this is my only big pregnancy complaint. Do I get the Braxton Hicks and the sleepless nights and the fatigue and swollen feet and weird dreams of late pregnancy? Sure, but it's hardly noteworthy. It's all part of the journey and I'm just glad to be along for the ride.

I suppose my biggest challenge right now is getting the house ready for Bean. My nesting urges have hit me big time, but there's only so much I can do on any given day. We've moved a lot of furniture to make room for the crib and changing table, and I still have a lot of cleaning to do, and even more storage and organizing to take care of before we can be physically ready for the baby. And the fact that my SPD prevents me from lifting anything heavier than about 10 pounds, or sitting anywhere without my knees lashed together (forget kneeling or squatting -- NOT gonna happen), or that it takes me 5 minutes to climb the stairs, and even grocery shopping wipes me out after the first half hour (the PAIN!), just makes the nesting that much harder to tackle. But I still have the urges, like... "I need new curtains! I need to mop that wall! Must reorganize the closet! I wonder if I could build some shelves to go there. Time to compartmentalize everything in sight!" I have a To-Do list about a mile long right now, but I'll be danged if I can just prioritize it and take care of one little thing before moving on to the next. It's madness, I tell you!

My brain is so scattered, I can't even manage to make it through one day as planned. Granted, my body is usually what slows me down, but I get so easily side-tracked, or I get tired, or I forget things (this is a big one), so by the end of most days, John will get home from work and I'll have done... pretty much nothing. It's pathetic. It's a miracle I'm even out of bed sometimes. But I have a good reason, right?

And only a few more weeks until I'm smooching that reason's face and wondering why any of this matters. :)

(p.s. I was going to post my new belly pic, but decided against it. There IS a recent belly pic of me -- taken just this Monday when Bean was behaving himself and not turned breech or posterior so I had a lovely round belly for once -- but that picture was also taken late at night after a very taxing day and I looked horrible. Just horrible. I can't bear to post that picture. I'll try to clean myself up and get a better picture posted soon. I promise.)