1st Trimester Archives - Week 7

(continued from "1st Trimester Archives - Week 6")

Friday, Feb. 6, 2009 (6 weeks pregnant):
I'm simultaneously celebrating and dreading this day (and week to come). I hope I can focus on something else for a while, and not get too hung up on what might be (either outcome). It's just no fun.

I was trying to remember how it felt to be pregnant before. The last 2 times at least, I was feeling everything very acutely, I was very aware of my uterus and every little twinge and expansion and cramp, and I was feeling heavy and bloated and sore and achey and wiped out long before my 6-week mark. My breasts were so tender, it hurt to breathe, and I immediately went up about 2 pants sizes. I really felt pregnant.

This time, I get tired and draggy after every meal (but otherwise I'm okay), I'm SO ITCHY (I think a lot of it has to do with quitting my daily Zyrtec), I'm a little bit queasy in the mornings, I get (what must be normal) little aches in my uterus at the end of the day (so far no cramping or bloating or heaviness, just mini-twinges if I've gone too long without a drink or some protein), I can still fit into my jeans (straight out of the dryer, no less) and taking off my bra is not too bad, although i swear to you my boobs weigh 30 lbs each and it feels like they're being pulled off my body when they're unsupported. I'm choosing to take all this as a good sign. I just wish I could be motivated to get some good food in me. The last couple days I've had a few dizzy spells. I haven't been hungry much in the last 4-5 days, and i know what i SHOULD be eating, but i'm too tired to go shopping and prepare food. just thinking about it makes me want to sleep. Fast food grosses me out. I drink a lot of herbal tea and plain water, I eat yogurt and string cheese and crackers and fruit, maybe a sandwich or soup if it's available, and I snack on granola bars and mixed nuts. I'm trying to be good; I know I can be better. I think all those guidelines for perfect pregnancy just set people up for guilt and failure. I mean, who's going to gag down an entire food pyramid in one day? it's impossible, I tell you. most of those recommended foods in the pregnancy books, I wouldn't know the first thing about how to prepare (wth are mustard greens and swiss chard?), and others you couldn't pay me to eat (salmon with bones? OMG! an entire Tablespoon of black strap molasses? have you ever tried that stuff?). produce is off-season, and therefore expensive and flavorless. it takes too much effort to eat whole, fresh food. I am at the office 9 hours a day, and all i want to do is relax. So I have a V-8 and call it good. it's all i can manage right now. maybe i'll feel more motivated after a nap.

so last night i ordered 2 tinctures. one false unicorn and one black haw. i hope they get here in time for me to use them. i checked on the gentlebirth archives and Susun Weed's website and i feel pretty safe drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea (in moderation). Just a cup a day. I'll add the tinctures to that, so with the vitex, red clover, and nettle I'm already taking, I'll have just about all my bases covered. If not... better luck next time, I guess.

I just got back from lunch (Cafe Rio! my FAVORITE place in the world, because Bean was craving chicken tortilla soup, and who am I to deny my bean the greatest lunch ever?) and I'm a zombie woman right now. I'm so full -- I couldn't even finish one bowl of soup. What gives? But I've already had a litre and a half of water, and it's not 2:00 yet.

I'm craving lemons. Like I just want to bite into one. Good thing I have lemons at home.

6 weeks! party at my house. :)


Monday, Feb. 9, 2009 (6w3d pregnant):
OH MY MORNING SICKNESS.

6 weeks 3 days and all is well!!!
i've never had morning sickness before. this is awesome. :)

just had to say that.

I'm using Sea-Bands while I'm at work so I can make it through the day (they kind of hurt, though. "one-size-fits-all" huh???), ONLY allowing myself to eat good food (when I can handle the sight of food, that is) and drinking so much water i feel like i'm going to drown. had a minor scare on Saturday when I was convinced the end was near, but it turned out to be nothing. read in a few books that i should probably avoid, um... "a certain activity." ;) LOL i would never forgive myself if THAT cause me to miscarry. i seriously thought bean was doomed. OH the after-cramps, the tears, the terror. so not worth it. :( but we're still here.

i feel a little sleep-deprived, but i picked up some of that herbal tea (Sleepytime with valerian) and it was very nice. :)

p.s. I heart my sleep bra.


Wednesday, Feb. 11, 2009 (6w5d):
It feels like FOREVER, doesn't it? I'm counting down every successful day, and each of those days has been a LONG one. We're still waiting until at least 12-13 weeks before we break the news, and it's torturing John. He wants to tell at 8 weeks. I say NO to that, because we're not out of the woods yet! Even though it seems like we got the BFP a million years ago, it's still WAY too early to be that optimistic. This is the longest I have ever been pregnant... and I still feel like a million bucks 95% of the time. So, this bean better STAY PUT! or else!!!!!!!!!

what's pathetic is that every time i get the tiniest little twinge of sensation in the general vicinity of my uterus--whether it's just my digestive tract or my actual reproductive organs--I freak out. Bad. Yes, I know my uterus is changing and growing on a daily basis, but I was in tears last night over what turned out to be probably just gas or slow-moving bowels. I thought for sure I was feeling the beginning of the end. I could just imagine the yolk sac separating from the uterine wall, causing those ripping and pinching and stabbing sensations. I have very clear memories of "the moment" each of my previous pregnancies ended, so I'm constantly on the lookout. *sigh* So... that part SUCKS. I'm still happy as can be about swollen breasts, insomnia and the constant queasiness. (I feel fatter than ever right now, but mostly in my hands and arms... what the?! my jeans still fit just fine.) I don't know if I'm having any major food aversions yet (the thought of fast food makes me gag, but I haven't been around it at all lately); my biggest problem is that nothing seems appealing to me until I'm in the middle of eating it, and then it's the most delicious thing ever. Last night at dinner I ate second helpings of everything--pot roast, potatoes AND salad--which is very unlike me (no wonder i feel extra fat today). What can I say... I was starving!!! I'm still trying to figure out how I can possibly get enough veggies and whole grains into my diet. Unless my concept of serving sizes is way off. I don't know. Who eats that much? I've taken to drinking V-8 juice every day to compensate. I don't know what else to do yet.


Thursday, Feb. 12, 2009 (6w6d):
every minute with this bean is a milestone from here on out.

I've started to get headaches 2-3 times a day. What does that mean?


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